i look tired he says....

I am sitting at the hotel across the street from our local airport. I'm on the clock, been working since noon on Monday and it is now 4:40 am on Tuesday. Weather in Sitka is bad and I have to babysit a couple of kids till 7am. Luckily I have my new laptop and the hotel offers free Internet, plus my cousin is working the front desk and I get free snacks. This is the best overtime shift I've ever signed up for!

Thought I might post something new since it's been awhile.

I've recently taken up the art of drinking coffee. I'm not quite a pro at it yet, I still add a over zealous amount of creamer. I haven't yet tried the fancy flavored coffee, just the cheap free stuff I can get here at work. This was picked up out of the necessity for the caffeine, not because I love the taste. In fact I hate the way my mouth feels after drinking a ton of coffee, makes me want my tooth brush. YAY, such stimulating conversation here isn't it!

The sun is coming up. I'm too tired to type anything interesting. Nick says I look tired. Isn't that a rude thing to say to someone!? I mean I KNOW I look tired, because I FEEL frickin' tired. But people shouldn't tell other people that they look tired. geeesh.

Maybe it's because I am SOOOOO tired, but I never noticed that the show Charmed is very inspiring. Three powerful sisters, fighting evil and juggling busy work schedules while still carrying out their personal lives.....INSPIRING, I can only hope to be as productive as they are. The TV has been on Charmed all night for background noise, weird that nothing else has come on, feels like it's been hours and hours of this one show....hmmm, maybe it's a marathon. WHATEVER.

I just pulled off over a thousand photos of my cell phone...off my CELL PHONE!!! Who knew a phone could hold so much. Maybe once I have a moment to go thru it all I'll post some pics up here on the blog.

GAWD! There is this ONE light that keeps flickering and blinking! Over and over again, and over again, it's getting to annoy me.

Soon I'll have to go wake up the kids. Lucky kids got at least four hours of sleep already and they'll get a bit more on the plane ride.

left on the bid after everyone else got to choose what they wanted for a schedule. I I think my schedule might be changing for awhile, changing to a night schedule. Not because I wanted it [even though I secretly wanted to be forced to take it] but because I get what ever'sSOOO got screwed over on my seniority when my job changed. I'm kinda disappointed in my union for not standing up for my cause because I know other people got the shit end of the stick like me. Things might be changing even still, we'll just have to wait and see.

Speaking of schedule changes, it changed this week due to me getting some training. I better get this Thursday off!! Damian and I are going to John Edwards at Centennial Hall. I can't wait. We've had our tickets for MONTHS now!

People are waking up now an joining me in the lobby. I better go check on the kids.

I'll post again another time later on.

Keep on, keeping on!

...Pride and Predjudice and Zombies...

I've decided to start sharing opinions of the current books I've read. My first book will be 'Pride and Prejudice and Zombies' By Jane Austen and Seth Grahame-Smith. I haven't read it yet but wanted to share already what I think about it.

I think this could quite possibly be the most genius idea I've heard of lately! I am ridiculously excited to tear through these pages. I am including a blurp from Amazon.com so you can see what others are saying about the book. SO EXCITED!

This may be the most wacky by-product of the busy Jane Austen fan-fiction industry—at least among the spin-offs and pastiches that have made it into print. In what’s described as an “expanded edition” of Pride and Prejudice, 85 percent of the original text has been preserved but fused with “ultraviolent zombie mayhem.” For more than 50 years, we learn, England has been overrun by zombies, prompting people like the Bennets to send their daughters away to China for training in the art of deadly combat, and prompting others, like Lady Catherine de Bourgh, to employ armies of ninjas. Added to the familiar plot turns that bring Elizabeth and Mr. Darcy together is the fact that both are highly skilled killers, gleefully slaying zombies on the way to their happy ending. Is nothing sacred? Well, no, and mash-ups using literary classics that are freely available on the Web may become a whole new genre. What’s next? Wuthering Heights and Werewolves? --Mary Ellen Quinn

It’s difficult to tell if critics’ reactions to Pride and Prejudice and Zombies should be characterized as praise or astonishment. Some reviewers treated the book as a delightful gimmick. Others found that, beneath the surface, the book actually constituted an interesting way of looking at Austen’s novel. Zombies answer certain puzzling questions: Why were those troops stationed near Hertfordshire? Why did Charlotte Lucas actually marry Mr. Collins? (She had recently been bitten by zombies and wanted a husband who could be counted on to behead her—of course!) But critics also pointed out that this parody shows that Austen’s novel has remained so powerful over time that even the undead can’t spoil it.Copyright 2009 Bookmarks Publishing LLC

Proof that I have really let myself go....

This is me, the picture was taken about a month or so ago. I am not happy about my current situation and that's why I am making it public, so that maybe I'll get my A$$ in gear and do something about it!!
This is proof that I used to be skinnier than I am now!

This is proof that I used to have a cleaner house than I have now, and proof that I used to be able to invite friends over!!

....AND....this is proof that I think I'd look HOT with my lip pierced!! Hmmm, think I am going to change my profile picture now!

Ack. Zombies....

I was thinking..... What would I do if the world ever became infected by a zombie plague, and I became one of the few survivors!? Good question, I know!

I think I'd have to become a pretty good shot with a rifle and pretty handy with a hockey stick. But all in all it wouldn't be that bad. I mean, zombies in theory would move pretty slow and really how much strength do they have? I mean, yes there will be difficulties adjusting, but take the proper precautions and we'll be just fine. Barricade your houses, build high fences.... can a zombie really break down a barricade!? My thought is not likely, they are mindless animals basically. In groups maybe they could do some damage, but you'd smell them miles away, and could run up to your look out tower and start popping them like zits on chess team captain. That's if you had a tower, or a roof of your local mall, anywhere high up would do. You'd get plenty of practice from up there.

I guess it helps that I don't live in a HUGE city...less zombies I'd have to off in the end.

So here's a plan, just in case, because you never know. Boy scouts say to always be prepared, I'm just being a good boy scout. [I know I'm not a boy, don't argue with me, stay on topic!]

IF the world as we know it is suddenly taken down by this zombie virus, all you need to do is build a floating city out in the middle of the ocean. You could live off seafood and take day trips to the shore to collect necessities. Drinking water can be distilled just like Kevin did in the beginning of that Waterworld movie. Yuck, I know, who wants to drink their own urine. Not me. That's why we'd hope the virus doesn't contaminate the near by streams and such. Since I live in land locked area I wouldn't have to live on a floating city, I could just find all survivors near by and we would start chopping some zombie heads off. Might take a bit and then clean up would take awhile, but in time Juneau could be zombie free.

Trick is, would we truly be safe from the zombies. Being dead already, could zombies continue to walk on the ocean floor!? But then would they float!? Would our ocean become polluted with mindless floating zombies!? As for Juneau, could a Zombie trek over the glaciers and mountains to get here!? If we were truly the last flesh and blood on the earth, would that be enough to keep them coming? Can a zombie in New York know there are five living souls in Juneau!? God, these are all such great questions!

All in all I think Juneau would be the safest place to survive a zombie apocalypse! Agreed!?

the best I could come up with....

Mom hated getting her pictures taken, so did I. So I never took any.

I HATE MYSELF FOR IT NOW!!!

I don't have ANY pictures of me and my mom, just her and me. I've got many of her with other people, like my sisters and the rest of the family. But none of the two of us.

It sucks. I've been looking since the day she died. I can't find any. Unless you count baby picture, even then there aren't many with just the two of us in it.

This was the best I could come up with.......

...expect something great soon!

I've been pretty busy with my new job title at work, working extreme hours, haven't had much time to blog.

I've got a few topics marinating as we speak.

"There are sober children in china"

No matter what’s happening in your life, there are good things happening as well. We just tend to gloss over the good things and focus on the negative.


I need to learn to appreciate what I already have, pay more attention to what is working in my life.

I often try to remind my self that other people have had it worse than me.


It's hard though.


When you feel so low.


I miss my mom a lot today.

The thrill of the adventure is the journey

Some people exude negativity. They don’t like their jobs or they don’t like their company. I work with one of these people, personally it's not my favorite flavor of Kool Aid.

Her sudden mood swings instantly put everyone on edge, it seems she would poke her nose in to other peoples business just for the sake of causing trouble. She always seems so frustrated and angry with the world, like anything anyone does is done on purpose or they are out to get her.

I do admit sometimes her arguments are right on and sometimes she’s just nit picking. Sometimes when she’s especially angry about something and she’s not getting the answer she wants she’ll continue on for ever about it. Our company is so big and we can only do so much to get them to listen to us. I don’t agree with everything the company is doing but they are going to continue with their efforts whether I like it or not. When she continues to berate every coworker that crosses her path or doesn’t agree with her, the wrong message gets portrayed and then the company is definitely not going to want to listen to our complaints.

I know my coworker on a personal side too, and I know she’s been through a lot in the seven years I’ve worked with her. I’m not saying she’s a bad person, outside of work we get along great; it’s just the constant criticizing at work and her continuous pessimism start to take toll. Especially when you work ten-hour days with this person four days out of the week. There’s no getting around this, everyone becomes effected in someway or another.

I’ve gone off track from what I really wanted to portray in this blog. I’m not trying to throw at you all my frustration and annoyance, if that were the case I’d be just like her.

I wanted to share with you that it's thanks to this coworker's radiant negativity that I have become so resilient in my life here at work. That and I believe I inherited a good size portion of it from my mom.

All day everyday sitting here listening to her complain. I’ve learned the more time you talk about, think about, and complain about the bad things that are happening to you, the more time you are wasting.

I discovered that I love the chaos and the challenge of learning new things and multi tasking. It creates an almost superior “know it all”, power hungry feeling in me. I see a challenge and I don’t freak out, instead I look at it and see how I can become better as a result of this challenge whether it be good, bad, personal, or professional.

I’ve become more confident about my work and I feel more positive on my decisions during an irregular day.

I keep getting distracted and loosing my train of thought I never said I had mastered this all yet, I am still just as scattered as ever and on my 12th hour of work for the day. So I will end with a note from my aunt’s human resource group

Resiliency is the ability to accept who you are, where you are, for what you are and to move on with a positive attitude. Resiliency will get you through these difficult times. You can choose to be resilient or choose to be a victim. What's your choice?

It's like an old friend that I lost touch with, I miss drawing.

I used to draw cartoon people all the time on my free time at work. I found a bunch that are all a few years old but I thought I might share with everyone my findings. I think I should start drawing again, it's been too long.

Comic book character ideas

Ha ha ha, that one was supposed to be a version of me.

That picture was from my mom's old PURE 70's CD album insert.

This was my cousin Nicky Noodle as a rebel youngster....

another version of me.

Ha yeah, this is me and the man of my dreams.

This is supposed to be my cousin Christopher [the one with the hawk.]

[I shrunk them all to fit on the blog with out taking up so much space.]

found this today...

I found this picture of my mom today, I had forgotten about this one. Something about it I like! I think I like it because if you look at mom she looks healthy there and happy. She doesn't have the "moon face" from the chemo, or that rash that she got, she looks pretty normal. Although the picture itself is a little dark and hard to see. I still like it. Makes me get wattery eyes looking at it. I miss her.

"Where in the world did you get the idea that i had something to say, words have a way of falling upside down inside your space..."

I'm in a good mood but don't know what to say.....I'll come back to this later. I'll just continue to jump around to Jack Drag on my iPod......speaking of MUSIC.... Have you listened to Blitzen Trapper!? LOVE 'EM! You might to. Check them out.


This post will change when I can think of a more interesting topic than what songs I'm listening to at the moment.


Although, I find it fascinating!

One of my songs I LOVE right now is Inní Mér Syngur Vitleysingur by Sigur Rós.

BUT..... They are from Iceland and up until this day today I HAD NO CLUE what the song was about really. I just went to lyricwiki.org and found out. I will share it with you in english!


A silver river

Illuminates the whole world and blue eyes

Cut the starry sky

I make a wish and now I close my eyes

Yes, do that, may it now come true

Oh no

At the speed of the stars

Inside my heart explodes, an airplane rumble

Cracked open the earth sings

I make a wish and now I close my eyes

Yes, do that, a little dance

Everything is forgotten in a bliss, and may it come true

I open my eyes

Oh no

My best friend whatever may happen

I swallow a tear and breathe in your hair

Making a ruckus, we cry on each other's arms

When we meet

When we kiss

Lips burning, holding hands

I see you waking up

I see you naked

Within me a lunatic sings

Always you wade, we run faster

Everything becomes smaller, I scream louder

Am about to wade, going away

My best friend whatever may happen

Making a ruckus, we cry on each other's arms

I swallow a tear and breathe in your hair

When we meet

When we kiss

Lips burning, holding hands

I see you waking up

I see you naked

Within me a lunatic sings

SEE....isn't it a great song, now you MUST hear it. It makes you wanna smile and dance around.

Something fun and light hearted!

1. open your music library (i-tunes, wiamp, media player)

2. put it on shuffle

3. press play

4. for the first question, type the song that's playing

5. when you go to a new question, press the next button twice

6. don't lie and try to pretend you're cool

7. tag 10 people and they have to do it too:)

IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE:

Opening credits:
The Heart of Saturday Night – Tom Waits

Waking up:
Most Likely you go your way and I’ll go mine – Bob Dylan

1st Day of School:
She Talks To Rainbows – The Ramones

Falling in Love:
Moonlight Drive – The Doors

Losing Virginity:
Fumbling Towards Ecstasy – Sarah McLachlan

Fight Song:
Public Square - Japanther

Breakin' up:
Nervous Breakdown – Black Flag

Prom:
Jesus Saves - Slayer

Life:
16 shells from a 30-ought six – Tom Waits

Mental Breakdown:
This Ain’t the Summer of Love – L7

Driving:
Let’s Dance – David Bowie

Flashback:
We Laugh Indoors –Death Cab For Cutie

Getting Back Together:
Forbidden Love - Madonna

Wedding:
Little Amsterdam – Tori Amos

Birth of Child:
You Suck – The Murmurs

Final Battle:
Swagger - Flogging Molly

End Credits:
Church Hymn For the Condemned – Johnny Hobo and The Freight Trains

Death:
Oh! Darling – The Beatles

Funeral: Sassafras Roots – Greenday

Oh, BOY DO I....

In high school I had a science fair project explode.....we were making hydrogen out of lye and nickel in a fish tank full of water, all to fill a balloon. The project was awesome and it really did work, but I can't say that I fully understand where it went wrong. It started to smoke and we turned it off, but then without us knowing someone [who will go unnamed] turned the experiment back on and....minutes later !!!BAM!!! waaa waaa waaaw waaaaww [that's the sound I heard, as I was sitting next to the tank, and everything around me was moving in slow motion]

So I realize first hand that hydrogen can be dangerous [well I realize this now]. But I've read somethings that really interested me and my friend Claire brought up a few good points that I wanted to research. But, I am at work so my research is limited by time and limited access to reliable resources.

Like I said I don't know much about all the scientific stuff so bear with me.

They are still finding better ways to make things work everyday and that goes for hydrogen, research on hydrogen fuel cells is ongoing, and improvements will continue to be discovered. For example I read that to prove the safety of its hydrogen vehicles, BMW tested its hydrogen tanks in a series of accident simulations that included collision, fire and tank ruptures. In all cases, the hydrogen cars fared as well as conventional gasoline vehicles. And hydrogen-fueled cars are designed to preclude the possibility of leaked hydrogen collecting within the vehicle.

Also this has NOTHING to do with hydrogen fuel cells in cars, but.....did you know that hydrogen does not pool or soak into things like gasoline does...... Apparently hydrogen is SO light, that when leaked it disperses and floats skyward.

There was a college of engineering in Miami that wanted to test hydrogen and how it would burn once leaked. They let 3000 cubic feet per minute of hydrogen leak from a vehicle and set on fire. They put temperature sensors inside the vehicle to monitor the temp. During the blaze the sensors inside the vehicle did not measure an increase of more than 1 or 2 degrees centigrade anywhere inside. The temp on the outside of the vehicle did not go any higher then that of a vehicle sitting in sunlight! CRAZY isn't it!? Almost unbelievable. I guess that when a carbon-based fuel such as gasoline burns, glowing hot soot particles transfer the heat to what ever it lands on. But hydrogen contains no carbon, it burns clean with out any soot residue, it infact produces little radiant energy and in order to get burned from a hydrogen fire you would have to be practically in the flame.

Whew, I don't mean to be so long winded! I'm just fascinated that's all.

I've read that hydrogen may be friendlier to our environment but definitely not friendly to our pocket books, that's partly why it hasn't caught on everywhere yet. I guess they already have hydrogen fueling stations around the world, because some places actually are using hydrogen power. I think Iceland was one of those places. I also heard that the "Gov-a-nator" wants a hydrogen highway in the near future with hydrogen fueling stations and what not.

As for my mentioning Stanford Ovshinsky yesterday, it was mainly to note his many patents and how smart he is. He and his wife have been able to do something with their intelligence, when they have an idea they do something about it! I admire that completely!

I can only dream of being as smart as that man and his wife.

I'd like you to meet Stan Ovshinsky, one of my heroes...

Stan is a genius, he is named as one of the thirty-five inventors who helped to shape the modern world.

One of the basic ideas that helped build his career was the lifelong motivation: "I'd like to be able to make a better world."

For more than 45 years he's invented and pioneered a new field in science, the "fundamentally new science of amorphous and disordered materials." All in pursuit of new kinds of electronics, batteries, and power sources that would be less harmful to the environment, less polluting but yet still as powerful and efficient to what we use today.

Stan and his wife Iris founded Energy Conversion Devices, Inc (ECD Ovonics) in 1960 with the purpose of using science and technology to solve serious problems in society.

I learned about Stan one day long ago watching PBS with my mom. It was a total accident too, we were turning the TV on to begin watching a teeny bopper chick flick, when we heard Alan Alda's voice introducing his show Scientific American Frontiers. It was their Hydrogen Hopes episode. We both agreed to watch this episode first because the topic really interested us a lot.

The show talked about cars ran by hydrogen, and had Alan kneeling on the ground sniffing the exhaust pipe of a hybrid Ford Focus. [I think that's what caught our attention and made us want to watch] Then they introduce us to Stan and Iris Ovshinsky.

They talk about how Stan and Iris invented a solid alloy block that soaks up hydrogen like a sponge. They have ideas on how to run a car safely off compressed hydrogen. In fact their personal car runs on hydrogen and Alan Alda borrowed the car for the show. That's just one of their many ideas that make me enthralled in their work.

I'm not all that scientific [I can hear those that know me laughing], okay, I am no where near a scientific mind. But I know when I hear something that interests me. Stan and Iris invented these panels that use solar hydrogen. Several structures around the world already use the Ovshinsky's solar panels. I guess that these panels are less efficient in bright sunlight than a normal solar panels but can still create energy even in dim sunlight and in rain, which keeps them desirable. Stan even invented a machine that can make six strips of his panels at a time, each a mile and a half long. His goal is to make electricity from an energy that is as cheap as coal, then turn that electricity into hydrogen.

Anything that might help make the earth a healthier place, and NOT go back to the stone age, totally interests me.

Some of Stan's other discoveries are actually things you and I use daily.

Such as rewritable CD and DVDs.

He's also invented a rechargeable battery that is longer lasting, lighter and smaller than the conventional battery. Which he claims to be environmentally safe because it is lacking the lead that is found in traditional auto batteries. Stan's nickel metal hydride battery is now used in everything from cell phones, to laptops, to electric and hybrid cars.

This is only the little bit's that I have read up on him. There is much more to his story than I can tell you in my itty bitty blog.

One thing that I admire about the Ovshinsky duo is that they have worked and lived together for SO MANY years and they are still such a cute, happy, loving couple. Even in their 80's they continue to care about the environment and Stan continues to invent.

Sometimes people are awesome!

Sometimes is never quite enough....

Yay. We have sun today!

This SUNSHINE that we are seeing today, truly ignites my inner day dreamer.

I want to go lay out under a tree, on a bright blue blanket, sipping lemon aid while listening to the sounds of the woods behind me.

OR better yet...

I want to find a pond or a lake somewhere secluded in the forest. Fill a wooden row boat full of pillows made of bright Victorian or Indian fabrics. Bring a parasol and a favorite book, and lay back in the boat and float for hours and hours on end.

Either of those sound like the PERFECT summer day to me. I've tried to create those perfect days for me, but I think I tend to OVER PLAN everything and it never is quite what I want it to be.

I'm of course ignoring the temp and the snow and the fact that I am working and that it's not ACTUALLY summer yet. Sitting in this office surrounded by windows, I tend to forget.

Speaking of summer....

I want more then ever this year to be able take my pictures this summer. I've always wanted to take some friends and some props out into the forest and stage up these perfect photographic moments. So that I could practice and build up my portfolio.

But honestly I don't know if I have what it takes to be a photographer.

I can see this PERFECT picture in my head, but it NEVER turns out the way I have it all planned.

Maybe I need to take classes before I try and build my portfolio. That's a whole other can of worms....Can I afford school!? Can I go to school around my work hours!? Is it going to make a difference!? Yikes.

BUT before I go and play I need to get my house in order! While the weather is pretty, it is still real cold out. Before it gets warmer I need to clean up get organized and dump things I don't really need. If I wait till summer things will never get done, because I'll want to be out playing and having picnics.

That's my number one goal for the month of March, CLEAN HOUSE!!!!

We'll see. I will pick up my part, as for the rest of the house, all in due time I guess.

It's getting late in the day, I'm almost off work. I best go finish my paper work and leave the daydreaming for the drive home.